I saw a custom license plate "HARPUA" today and I'm not proud to admit my immediate thought was "pluck on that thang"

look,
we're all stuck on 1.0% of downloading a torrent that has the episode of House Hunters starring someone we met at a party one time 2 years ago

(Hold Steady voice)

"I also choose this guy's oshi"
is a sentence I cooked up while mentally ill last weekend and it has been rattling around in my brain ever since

"Keep Portland Weird" includes the elevator safety inspection company that has purchased billboards in at least 3 distinct neighborhoods this winter

the USA might be a total clusterfuck and my work situation might be intensely stressful but at least I’ve got uhhhhh forty-five minutes of Hearthstone Battlegrounds a night